Shang's Punishment
by ProtegoNox
Summary: Shang knew it was wrong, but there was nothing he could do about it. Explores Shang's thoughts and feelings about Ping, before he learns of Ping's true identity. Part deux: Shang tries to put Ping and Mulan together, and the pieces of his heart.
1. Shang's Punishment

**A.N.:**_ This is my first attempt at fanfiction that isn't Harry Potter. I've always been intrigued by the relationship between Shang and Mulan. What if it had started before Shang knew Mulan was a woman in disguise?_

**Disclaimer:**_ The situations you recognize are the legal property of Disney, as far as I know._

* * *

Shang knew it was wrong, but there was nothing he could do about it. Besides, his pride and his honour would never let him follow through with actions mirrored by his heart. 

He was never one to dwell on romantic fantasies. He spent most of his schoolboy days studying to please his father. When he did dream of love, it was always with a woman.

_What would China say?_ He would think late at night. He would then scold himself harshly and train harder, repeating his inner mantra: _China would say nothing, for you will say nothing._

He was hard on Ping, he knew that. Harder on him than he would have been with any other recruit. He would justify his actions, his arduous training regiment by blaming it on his ambition and not his budding feelings for the runt of his troops. _Feelings that shouldn't be,_ he would think with bitter resentment.

He tried to be distant and cold but he was drawn to Ping's unfailing drive and sensitivity, the opposite of himself. Shang was disgusted with himself when he wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around Ping's rather small frame and kiss the bruises away after particularly gruelling sessions. He wanted to retch his meagre rice bowl until there was nothing left in his stomach. He was not a soft man. He was strong, honourable and proud. What had he done to receive such a punishment?

Because this was a punishment. Sometimes he saw Ping looking at him and he would imagine there was more than just friendship in his eyes. It was torture. He could not risk his family's honour but Ping was not making it easy.

**.:X:.**

The stunt with the arrow was one of the first times he acknowledged his attraction to Ping. It made him angry. Why couldn't Ping climb to the top?! Ping was weak and Shang both loved and hated the notion. He hated Ping for his weakness as it made him an easy target. It meant Shang had to work the short man that much harder. As captain, he had to be even harder on Ping and it hurt. But at the same time, he admired Ping's weakness fondly. It created a special bond between the soldier and captain.

**.:X:.**

He had no other choice. He had to send Ping home. Ping just couldn't keep up with the rest of the troops. Chi Fu refused Shang's reports of progress and was ordering Shang to send Ping home. _Of all the tortures I've had to endure, this is by far the worse_, he thought miserably. Bitterly, he saddled Ping's horse Khan. Chest filled with rage against Ping's inability to keep up, he slapped the reins of the horse into his hand. "Pack up, go home," he said harshly. "You're through."

Ping merely accepted the reins, defeat written all over his slim face. He said nothing, not even a short goodbye to his captain. Shang retreated to his personal tent, tossing and turning as thoughts of never seeing Ping again tormented him.

**.:X:.**

He had done it. He had made a man out of Ping by training him and never giving up on him. He was proud of all of his troops; that goes without saying. But Ping... it was more personal with Ping. It always was. Ping was the first to climb the pole and get the arrow and the last to back down from training after that.

Shang knew he was a lost man.

**.:X:.**

His father was dead. All that was found was his helmet. Shang's heart stopped but refused to grieve in front of his men. In front of Ping.

Shang knelt in front of the make-shift tombstone, praying his ancestors to guide his father's spirit to them. Ping approached him.

"I'm sorry," he said to Shang.

Shang remained silent, not trusting his voice to speak. Determined to find the Hun army to avenge his father's death, he spoke swiftly and encouragingly. Ping's face stood out the most; he was the only one to show how much the burning village truly saddened him.

**.:X:.**

Ping had saved him. He had saved them all, at the risk of his own life, but he had risked his life the most to save him, Captain Li Shang. Now there was a possibility Ping might not survive Shan Yu's desperate attempt at revenge. Shang was fidgety with anxiety. He paced in front of the tent where a doctor was rapidly healing Ping to the best of his ability. His heart pounded loudly in his ears.

Finally, the doctor rushed out, looking nervous. The blood rushed out of Shang's face.

"How is he? Will he live?" the captain asked, little emotion betraying his fear.

The old doctor approached him and motioned for him to bend down. Curious, Shang did so and the doctor whispered in his ear. "She-... she will survive."

Shang's blood ran cold. His heart stopped beating. He stumbled backwards and ran into the tent, disbelieving. Ping awoke and sat up, the thin blaket falling and failing to cover his upper body. The bandage covered the skin, but not the familiar curve of breasts.

Ping was a woman.


	2. Shang's Redemption

**A.N.:** _Well, I hadn't planned a second chapter, but here it is, folks. With this one written, I am planning a third chapter to go along with it, but it will completely disregard Mulan II. I was very disappointed with it. Anyway, sorry for the wait and for the wait that's probably going to come for the third chapter._

**Disclaimer:** _Still owned by Disney. Goodness, how I love Disney._

* * *

Ping is a woman. 

Shang staggers. _How could this be...?_ he thinks.Chi Fu enters the tent after him, but Shang takes no notice. An irrepressible rage washes over his body and he struggles to keep himself in control. A man never loses control of himself.

He stalks out of the tent, trying to distance himself from the lying snake in the tent, the one Shang had trusted so completely, never doubting that he -_she!_- would ever lie to him... He owes his life to a woman. He barely hears Chi Fu's nasal voice behind him until Ping -_is that even her real name?_- tries to stand up for herself.

"My name is Mulan," she articulates loudly. "I did this to save my father."

"High treason!" Chi Fu's voice shrills.

"I didn't mean for it to go this far!"

"Ultimate dishonour!"

"It was the only way! Please, believe me!"

Chi Fu turns his back on the shivering woman. A sharp pang of pity races through Shang as he stares at her. Does she not realise he is going to kill her? That it is his duty to kill her?

"Captain?"

But does he really have to kill her? He marches towards her horse Khan, thoughts jumbling in his head. Has she not proven to him that sometimes 'duty' and 'what is right' aren't synonyms? He unsheathes her sword, or what is probably her father's sword.

Has she not, despite her obvious lack of testosterone, saved not only his life, but all of China? Is that not worth something? He stands in front of her, watching as Mulan, formerly known as Ping, drops her head in resignation. Is that not worth her life?

"No!" exclaim her friends as Khan neighs, panicked.

"Restrain him!" points Chi Fu. He glances at Chien Po, Ling and Yao. "You know the law."

Shang stares at Mulan. Is she not going to fight? Ping had always been a fighter in his mind, so shouldn't she be fighting him now? Like Ping would? He realizes he wants her to fight him. He wants her to fight him to prove to him Ping, his sweet, hard-working Ping, is still in there. She is a woman: his heart soars at the possibility. Disgusted at his lack of pride, he throws her father's sword in front of her bowing form.

"A life for a life. My debt is repaid," he hisses, turning away from her questioning eyes. He is afraid she will see his weakness. A man never shows his weakness. "Move out," he orders to his soldiers. He knows she is watching his face. He can feel her brown eyes, Ping's eyes, on him. He wants to look but is afraid of losing Ping. He loves Ping, not Mulan. They can't be the same person. She didn't fight him like Ping would have.

"But you can't just-" Chi Fu protests.

Shang grabs his collar, heaving him to Shang's eye level. "I said, 'Move out'."

Shang climbs onto his white stallion, pretending his heart isn't burning into ash with every trot his steed takes.

**.:X:.**

"Shang!"

He knows that voice. It sounds like Ping's, but he knows as soon as he turns to face Mulan, that Ping is gone. In his place is a woman who looks like him, who pretends to be like him as she sits confidently on Khan.

"Mulan?" he says, incredulous. His heart flutters at the sight. She is not like those ridiculous painted women, with their colourful outfits and complicated hairstyles. He loves her short hair, framing her heart-shaped face, but she is not Ping. Ping would have fought him.

"The Huns are alive! They're in the city!" she exclaims breathlessly.

His face darkens. "You don't belong here, Mulan," he scowls. _Ping should be here._ "Go home."

"Shang, I saw them in the mountains!" she continues. Shang forgets to berate her for addressing him so casually. Ping was just as stubborn as Mulan is proving to be. "You have to believe me!"

"Why should I?" he answers angrily. Shang knows he is not acting as should a man, a captain, but he is so confused, trying so hard to put Ping and Mulan together, figuring out where one ends and the other begins...

"Why else would I come back?" The words sting him more than he'd admit. In some part of him, he foolishly wishes it had been to see him again. "Yo u said you'd trust Ping. Why is Mulan any different?"

He has to escape her words. They invade his mind and confuse him even more. He rides around her. _She is right,_ whispers a voice inside his head. _Why is Mulan any different?_

Mulan climbed the post for the arrow. Mulan fought him and won. Mulan improved her fighting technique. Mulan complimented him the night before they left for Tung Chow. Mulan saved China. Mulan saved him. Mulan is Ping and Ping is Mulan.

**.:X:.**

"Um... you... you fight good," Shang stumbled clumsily. He cannot believe how shy he feels in front of her. He notices her disappointment and suddenly, all hope is not lost. He is unsure where to begin, however, as he has never felt so naked in front of anyone.

He watches her atop Khan, down the palace steps, and sighs. He stares at her as she becomes smaller and smaller, riding far into the horizon.

"The flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all," says the Emperor wisely, standing next to him.

"...Sir?" Shang asks, bewildered. Is he really getting love advice from the _Emperor?_

"You don't meet a girl like _that_ every dynasty!" replies the old man, placing his hat on his head. He turns away grumbling.

**.:X:.**

"Excuse me," he says to the two woman, "does Fa Mulan live here?"

They appear dumbstruck and point him towards the garden behind them. He nods thankfully at them before marching in the direction they pointed him in.

"Woo, sign me up for the next war!" exclaims the grandmother. Shang resits the urge to grin and lifts his chin as he strides over to the man he believes to be Fa Zhou. Seeing no sign of Mulan, he feels confident that he won't stutter through his carefully planned speech. He bows respectfully to the elder.

"Honourable Fa Zhou, I- Mulan!" exclaims Shang when she steps from behind her father. "Uh, you forgot your helmet. Well, actually, it's your helmet, isn't it? I mean..."

Mulan steps forward and grabs the object from his hands. As her fingers brush his, his blood pumps a little faster. "Would you like to stay for dinner?" she asks, eyes downcast.

"Would you like stay forever?" says Grandma Fa loudly.

Glancing at her curiously, he raises an eyebrow at Mulan, who blushes, embarrassed. Shang smiles at the sight. "Dinner would be great," he tells her.


End file.
